The Difficulties in Remaining Neutral (Alternate Title: It's Not Easy Being Gray)
Seen here: a lovable scoundrel
Scoundrels win me over every time. It's the charisma, the disarming smile. The inherent honesty in their actions. Characters in TV and movies like Don Draper (Mad Men), Al Swearengen and Seth Bullock (Deadwood), Malcom Reynolds (Firefly), Starbuck (Battlestar Galactica) and Han Solo (Battlefield Earth). These guys, and they tend to primarily be men, all march to the beat of their own drum and make a ton of mistakes along the way. They are self-centered bastards with hearts of gold. I love them. I am instantly drawn to any character with moral gray area. I find that gray area adds a refreshing sense of realism to the typical hero story we're familiar with, and any time you can show that your hero is real, it endears them to the viewer. In a video game they would be considered neutral characters, neither good nor evil. It's my favorite alignment. Why is it then that I can't manage to remain neutral in games that give me that choice?
Scoundrel! Scruffy-lookin nerf-herder!
Perhaps it's the definition of neutral that is the issue. Take Fallout 3 as an example. In the game your actions have a direct scoring system called Karma. If you do something good, you get "good" Karma points. Do something bad or socially unacceptable and you get "bad" Karma points. As your points add up they begin to shape your character and the way the world reacts to them. The amount of variation and choice in how you complete a quest or a speech challenge in Fallout is impressive and one of the most engaging elements of the game. Too bad I have a problem being anything but the pinnacle of All That Is Good when I'm playing a game.
RPGs such as Fallout 3 or even Fable II are escapism for me. I tend to gravitate toward what I feel is my ideal self (consciously or sub-consciously, I'm not sure.) I'll display a sense of self-sacrifice and a paladin-ish level of honor. I selected "The Sacrifice" in Fable II because I felt guilty choosing my own needs over the needs of others. I actually felt guilt! Same with doing anything morally gray in Fallout 3. I literally feel guilty.
I started a new game in Fallout 3 trying to remain neutral. I suppose I could just avoid anything that would give me Karma at all, be it positive or negative. But since I like to consider myself a neutral person in real life (always fair, logical, level-headed and Zen-like) I figured I'd just comport myself in the manner I would in meatspace.
It's difficult to be yourself when faced with the option to be a better person.
You gonna get in trouble...
I enjoy watching these characters on TV because they feel real. They are flawed and charming and endearing. They are a reflection of humanity. Fallout 3 is one of the few video games I've played that feels the same.
There are people who play games that take great pleasure in burning down villages, gleefully tormenting innocents and generally making a mess of things, and then there are people like me. Ross had mentioned in a podcast that he has a hard time playing anything but a perfectly good character, and I was wondering who else out there feels the same? What alignment do you naturally gravitate toward when you pick up the controller?
