The Weekly Geek - Swagger Like Us
As a recent transplant to the greater Seattle area fortune quickly dropped me at the doorstep of The Weekly Geek Headquarters. With vision blurred from the incessant bass rhythm pulsing out the door and nostrils stinging from an indescribably foreign yet appetizing odor I gulped a few calming breaths and prayed they wouldn't be my last.
The door opened, reality spliced.
While there are actual people behind the voices you know and love their physical bodies have been duplicated in a hellish mockery of synthetic bone and flesh. They send these mechanical doppelgangers to their day jobs, out to the market, or downstairs to accept shipments of oddly soiled wooden crates and tiny, paper wrapped bundles of hard to find meats.
It's genius really, and appears to be wildly successful as no one has yet uncovered their cosmic ruse.
The real Chris, Jinny, and Qais were sitting on opulent thrones of Persian pillows, each calmly snacking on a a variety of unsavory morsels piled at their feet. Standing behind them, as silent sentries, were their robotic doubles; twin animatronic likenesses staring blankly as if awaiting instruction.
"Play for us, RYAN G. BIV" they cried in unison, "Play for us FOREVER."
Before I could scramble for the door the robots had thrust a Rockband guitar in my hands and computed the password to my gamertag. Terrified, I plucked for the first time the notes that would ensnare a part of me long devoid of Sheer Enjoyment.
Join me in the video above as I play for my life, powerless to resist the sheer force that is The Weekly Geek and their twisted, evil Rockband Bots.
