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Up for sale on Etsy as of today, a painting I did in college called "The Death of Peach".
Mario is grief-stricken in this nightmare scenario where Princess Peach is impaled callously by a giant pirahna plant. Toad watches in horror as Mario prepares to hurl a Bob-Omb and avenge his love. Oil on canvas 38"x36"
You can check out the listing here. Now's your chance to own a little bit of The Weekly Geek!
I love it when I can bring video game sound effects into the context of the real world. I own a couple of those gashapon sound drop keychains, and revel in the fact that the Super Mario Bros death noise scares my small dog enough to make her bark nervously and then hide under the bed. Last night, Herr Bizzleteats received a missive from the ether on his Blackberry, which caused it to chirp as if he had gained an extra life. A plushy question mark block sits on my couch, waiting for unsuspecting guests to sit down and accidentally gain a coin when it drops on their lap. Now, with ThinkGeek's help, I can become invincible. Check out this awesome Super Star, which gleefully grants you doot-dee-dootillies whenever you desire. It's plastic, fits on your desk, and looks amazing. It's battery powered too, so you could feasibly take it into any dangerous situation such as walking home by yourself late at night or if you are going to smash a few of your brothers or there's a mushroom uprising.
This thing is pretty neat. Now if only they did a whole series of classic powerups (no stupid New Super Mario Bros blue shell ridiculousness please) I could further blur the line between fantasy and reality.
[link via BBG | ThinkGeek Product Page]
In 1989 there was a brief lived show called The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! featuring Lou Albano as Mario. For whatever reason, I could never get over the fact that DIC (a company whose name I found hilarious as a kid) cast some nearly washed up wrestler as Mario. Lou Albano was OK I guess, but he didn't really look like Mario to me, something just didn't jive.
Now I know what was missing, what vital component my live action Mario experience was lacking; it was complete and total horror. The rendition of Mario above as "real" is fairly accurate when you think about it. Mario is a short little goblin-man with freakishly disproportionate eyes, nose, and moustache. He is nothing but a horrible mutant with the warped frame of mind that inclines one to eat mushrooms and random plant life, both things bound to put a semi-permanent five o' clock shadow on your face and a cracked expression in your eyes.
If The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! was redone with this Mario rather than an aging, out of work actor-cum-wrestler, you can bet your ass I'd be parked in front of my TV every Saturday morning, Princess Peach footy pajamas and all.
[Via NotCot]
Today over at fellow geek culture blog 4 Color Rebellion they have a hilarious article up about one writer's experience teaching Japanese children familial terms such as brother, sister, mother and father. Being a geek in Japan he used video games to teach the subject, using Mario in particular. Nintendo seems to have pretty much failed in their storytelling, as the kids are incredibly confused about where everyone stands in the Mario family. Some choice lines:
Me: Here is a good way for you to remember the word for “brother”. Finish this phrase: “Super Mario _______” (wait for response)Energetic boy: Galaxy!
Me: Ok, it’s a bit different.. try again, “Super Mario _____”
Girl: Party?
Me: One more try. “Super Mario ______”
Boy: I got it! Brothers!
Me: Good. That’s right. The word is “brother”. So who is Mario’s brother?
Boy in the back: Wario!
While I know that children are generally confused about a lot of things (which is part of the learning process), it's pretty funny to see that Miyamoto's strict avoidance of storytelling and Nintendo's watering-down of the Mario franchise have this sort of affect. These kids make Mario sound like some sort of strange incestuous Shakespearean drama. Now that's a Mario party I'd like to see.
With a name like Butt Johnson and a piece like the one above, how could we not feature this on The Weekly Geek?
[Via MonsterBrains]
One of several Super Mario Christmas specials that will grace the table during this Festival of Low Lights, Cave Christmas arrives rather late in the franchise's NBC career, after Princess Peach met Milli Vanilli and ostensibly before the incredibly ill-advised guest appearance by Barbara Fucking Bush, this season dispatched utterly with Toad and replaced him with an obnoxious cave-boy named "Oogtar". Did they bother to get a new voice actor, though?
No.
Oogtar is the exact same voice as Toad, only a little gruntier. I wouldn't mind Oogtar so much if he wasn't a blatant rip off of an already RETARDED character, Bubba Duck.
Anyway, the plot here is relatively simple. Oogtar enjoys bullying Off-Model Yoshi. Mario decides to pump some Biblical Consumerism up their asses. Bowser and Morton Koopa Jr. (or Koopa and Bully if you're a retard) interject. Wackiness and big Peach hair ensues. Painful.
One question... what does Peach's enormous jewel on her dress do? Is it the source of her power? What is she doing in Dino-Land? Is Toadsworth staging a coup d'etat? So many questions. Too little gravity control.
With all the buzz surrounding Bee Suit Mario (see what I did there?) in Super Mario Galaxy, and now the screenshot in Famitsu Magazine showing what seems to be Boo Suit Mario, it's time to take a look back at Mario's vast history of fanciful duds throughout his career. You have to hand it to Mario, not only does the dude have style, but his style actually gives him powers. From Fire Power to the Tanooki Suit, hit the jump for the full retrospective.
Wow. Talk about a rad idea. This guy replaced most of the textures from Super Mario 64 with classic NES mario stuff. Bricks look blockier, pipes look old-school and even Mario is sporting the classic brown-ish overall ensemble. This is exactly the kind of thing Nintendo should be doing for the Virtual Console. Too bad they won't.
I have no idea who came up with the brilliant (sarcasm) idea to tag Mario and Sonic onto some cheesy Olympics title, but they should get a pat on the back. Make it a really hard pat, so it bruises. SEGA and Nintendo have announced that Mario and Sonic are teaming up for a game called Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games. What's that you say? Sounds incredibly lame? YEAH! I THOUGHT THAT TOO! We must be psychically connected, you and I. The premise is that Mario and Sonic are going to be competing in the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. The game is going to come out for the Wii and the DS and should hit sometime at the end of this year.
I can see the appeal in pitting Mario vs. Sonic in a game. But using it to promote the Olympics? That's just odd. This game will probably be given to some unknown second party publisher who will do a horrible job on it, making Mario and Sonic look like their long lost third-world cousins or something. Remember Mario is Missing?
Ugggh. Full release after the thing.
continue reading "Mario + Sonic in super lame sounding game"
I'm a big fan of NES hackers these days. It's cool to see people of our generation taking stuff that seemed so mystical back in the day (like why your NES would do weird glitchy things sometimes) and using it for purely artistic purposes. Take this video of a "bent" NES system, hooked up to sync to music. Pretty rad. I wanna know how to do this!
I made a post on Gamersurvival a while ago with a bunch of screenshots from the fancy looking upcoming Mario goodness, Super Paper Mario. This game was originally slated to be released on the GameCube towards the end of last year, but today Nintendo graced us with probably one of the oddest press releases I've ever seen. Needless to say, we will finally get some Wii Mario love on April 9th. Full press release after the jump.
Super Mario All Stars. A great title for the SNES that took the original 4 Mario games and added enhanced graphics and better music, all while keeping the essentials that made these games classic. It was a makeover, one that Tyra Banks is still trying to emulate to this day. We've seen some great ones over the years, most recently with titles like Mega Man Powered Up, taking Mega Man 1 and turning it into a 3d hydrocephalitic chibi funtime romp. Without changing the basics of what makes these games great, makeovers rekindle what we loved about them in the first place. Here is a list of games we think could really use the All-Star treatment.
Frodo:
5: Mega Man 2 - Arguably the best game of the series, Mega Man 2 really needs the Powered Up treatment. Enhanced music, a level editor, expanded gameplay... I am drooling just thinking about it. Just put it on something a bit more accessable than the PSP, mmkay?
4: Maniac Mansion - I am aware that this LucasArts masterpiece has been re-done by people on the interwebs already, but I would love to see an enhanced version for a major console. A Wii version with beautiful hand-drawn characters and voice acting would basically make me weep with joy.
3: Secret of Mana - This game is already pretty gorgeous, one of the most visually and audably stunning titles on the SNES, but imagine it on a current system with Squeenix's Mana lineup. Lush environments, fully orchestrated soundtrack, cutscenes and online co-op would make this classic even classic-er. Classic-er?
2: Starcraft - Even by today's standards, Starcraft is a good looking PC real time strategy game. Imagine it using Blizzard's Warcraft III engine and you have a title that would make them tons of cash for many more years to come. Heck, the country of Korea alone would make this venture cost-effective.
1: The Legend of Zelda - We've seen the NES Zelda ported to the Gamecube on a collector's disk, to the GBA with the collector's series and now to the Virtual Console on the Wii, but it has always been untouched. I would love to see a Mario All-Stars treatment for Zelda. Imagine Zelda 1 and 2 with Link to the Past or Minish Cap quality graphics and remixed music. I'd wet myself, die, and then wet my corpse. We got a remake of the first Metroid a couple of years ago, why not your biggest cash cow, Nintendo? I'd drop a cool 1000 Wii points on that title in a heartbeat.
The Geek:
5: Uniracers - Take this awesomely fun SNES classic, crank up the visuals to 11, and give it some great Wii controls and you'll have a hit.
4: The THQ/AKI WWF/WCW games from the N64 - I still consider these games to be the pinnacle of 'rasslin games, at least from a gameplay standpoint. The controls were so easy to pick up and the animation of the wrestlers was so smooth. I would love to see something pretty much exactly like these games, except with a graphical and audio overhaul, making sure they leave the good animation intact.
3: Toe Jam and Earl - I love this Genesis classic. A great way to while away an afternoon. I would love to see it with some much more sharp and detailed graphics. Though I can't decide if I'd want it to be really, really detailed sprites or full on cel-shaded 3D. Either would work. Oh, and while we're at it, let's hire George Clinton and his crew to funk up the soundtrack something fierce.
2: Starfox 64 - One of my very favoritest games, Starfox got absolutely no respect on the GameCube with the horrible Starfox Assault game. The arwing levels were perfect, but everything else sucked hardcore. Give me Starfox 64 with really, really shiny new graphics and I will be in hog heaven.
1: Final Fantasy VII - Rumored, speculated, rumored some more, an updated FF7 has been the holy grail for Final Fantasy fanboys. Advent Children gave us a taste of what it could be like. FF7 was amazing when it came out, but even just compared to the next in the series, the visuals are just embarassing any more. Giant cubes for hands? Come on! And imagine, if you will, that entire soundtrack performed by a full, real live orchestra. Beauty.
Honorable Mention: Goldeneye - I really considered putting this on the list, but it's pretty much already been made thanks to the amazing Source engine and the rabid modding community out there.
What do you think would be a good game to give a makeover to? Post your suggestions in the comments!
How do you fix an old NES cart that just won't play? Ask anyone between the ages of twenty and about thirty-five, and they'll say the same thing: blow in it. Blowing in an NES cartridge is so iconic, that there have been t-shirts manufactured depicting the process, so that in wearing said t-shirt you can identify your geeky bretheren. Another method of identification is asking for "The Code". I speak, of course, of the Konami code. Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start. Made famous as the 30 lives code in Contra, it's been featured on a shirt of its own, on The Daily Show, and even as the title of a Deftones song (A and B are transposed, but the spirit is still there). Indeed, the verification of the code is as important as being able to recite it. Get one part wrong and you may get your geek card taken away. As members of this generation grow older, get jobs, disposable income and time, they seem to become more and more obsessed with this brand of video game related nostalgia. What makes us yearn for childhood? Is this need to reflect unique to our generation, or do our parents and grandparents share similar obsessions? A fierce amount of brand loyalty, recently reflected in the console wars, seems to be brought on by this retro-gaming infatuation, and it has caused the industry to take notice and do what they do best: make money.
Even though blowing into the NES cart really did no good in getting that clunky old gray box to work (in fact, it most likely worsened it by oxidizing the circuit board with filthy spittle), we all did it. It was universal. We all have fond memories of sitting down and attempting to play Zelda, having to work the console a bit, and then spending hours scouring labrinthyne dungeons and stabbing spider things with wooden swords. These fond memories are comforting, and we can recreate them with retro gaming. The big three game companies are capitalizing on the retro gaming craze, Nintendo with their Virtual Console, Microsoft with the Live Arcade and Sony with their... whatever they are calling their online service. Each system allows you to purchase and download old games with the intent to relive those warm fuzzy moments (sans blowing). You can even mimic the good ol' days with classic controllers, even joysticks that you plug directly into your TV to play Pac-Man. Hot Topic capitalized on our obsession by coming out with t-shirts that have old video game characters on them with "witty" phrases such as "Byte Me". HAH! HILARITY! All the while, we eat it up.
I hereby declare that from henceforth, November 16th shall be known to gamers around the world as Shigeru Miyamoto day. Miyamoto changed the world of gaming forever and brought us to where we are now. I just happened to feel like looking him up on the good ol' Wikipedia today and noticed that it is actually his birthday. What an amazing coincidence! Anyway, share with us your love for the Shigmeister today on Shigeru Miyamoto day.
On this week's podcast, The Geek and Frodo kick it old school, talking about The Amazing Screw On Head, third party love for Nintendo, hardcore gamers and as always, Snakes on a Plane. It just keeps getting weirder and weirder. Oh, video games are also discussed. Naturally.
--Frodo
This week Frodo and The Geek get back into the swing of things and discuss New Super Mario Bros and other non-video game related items. That's right, for the first time in MONTHS the geeks talk about Sci-Fi and nerdy things again. Phew! Have some delicious show notes.
--frodo
I don't know how I feel about the New Super Mario Bros. I picked it up the other day, very excited about this release, it is the first new Mario platformer (where it is just Mario + Luigi) in about 15 years. There was an interview with the director in Nintendo Power last month which was less than encouraging, he didn't seem to know his own characters (saying that the Koopa Kids were in the game when in actuality it's just baby bowser) and stating odd reasons for artistic decisions (the 3d polygon graphics were used because it was "easier").
After seeing more gameplay video on the official website I was convinced that the game would be worthwhile, and I got very excited about playing a great Mario platformer again. But now I'm not so sure.
Granted, it is a fun game. It's challenging and fun in true Mario style, but there is something off about it. It seems to pander too much to our nostalgia without offering anything new, fresh or engaging. One of the things that made the Mario series so special in the past was the exploration and the feeling of being rewarded for diligent secret block searching. There are secrets in NSMB, there are new power-ups and items, but something just seems off. The pandering gets to me. The sound effects are mostly original sounds from the NES days and the music is remixed old tunes with weird sound effects layered over. Would someone picking this game up who had never played the old NES games be put off by the retro sound effects? Would they wonder why the game has such poor audio on purpose? Hearing the original coin up sound is neat the first time, but after the 5000th time it gets a bit annoying. The music leaves much to be desired, as well. There seems to be one overworld and one underworld song and they just loop over and over again. What happened to the great atmospheric tunes of different worlds in the Mario universe? If I go to a desert level, I want a song to help me get into the spirit of things, I don't want the same song to follow me from the snow level, or from the grass level.
The graphics irk me more than anything else. The polyons are just plain lazy, why couldn't the game just have beautifully drawn sprites? Super Paper Mario, coming soon for the Gamecube, takes the lazy route by using pre-existing Paper Mario sprites but looks gorgeous. The polygonal effects just look horrible scaled on the small screen and make the hit detection awkward and frustrating.
The play controls feel odd as well. One of the huge things about Mario games is that the play control is always tight, smooth, and very well done. There is something loose about this game... I don't remember if this was the case in older Mario games, but if you get Mario running one direction, he just keeps running with a bit of momentum, you can literally let go of the control pad and just jump if you are fast enough. This leads to sliding around and inaccurate jumps - death for platform games.
There are many fun bits to the game. It is challenging, like I said, and holds some unlockables and surprises. Something about it is just strikingly unremarkable to me. It feels like it is fun, and I will enjoy playing through it, but once I complete it I will never come back to it like I used to with the NES games.
Have you played it? What do you think? Leave a comment or send it to our mailbag!
--Frodo
In this exciting installment, The Geek, Frodo and White Mage discuss the Half Life series, and their love of all things Final Fantasy, Disney, and the two mashed together. Then, Frodo answers the mailbag. Here are some notes!
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