posted by Chris on July 21, 2008 7:26 PM in Podcast
In the aftermath of E3 2008, Chris, Qais and Jinny discuss what ensued during the Nintendo and Sony conferences, and other great games announced at the now stripped down show. They raise questions such as: is Nintendo in the business of making money or making video games? And: what is the plural of "red headed stepchild"? Whether or not you want to have this information in your head is immaterial! It is here. Would you like to hear about our frothing demand for Mirror's Edge and EA's offerings? You can experience this.
There are many ways to prove your eternal allegiance -- or freakish obsession as the case may be -- to a particular system or game, the most popular being ink indelibly etched into flesh. Hell, Chris himself sports a triforce tattoo. But one man has taken these declarations one step further, not only carving the object of his obsession into his flesh, but doing so on a fairly large scale. I realize not everyone has the same tolerance for this kind of imagery that I do so I've posted the images under the cut, those with weak-ish stomachs need not click.
I spent a couple years somewhere in the vast desert of central Washington State racking up a massive amount of debt in order to get a piece of paper that says that I do Art. Yes, many people don't know that Washington State isn't completely covered in lush rainforests with a Starbucks at every tree trunk, but that's beside the point. College in the US has degraded into a strung together series of parties, rendering its only use into perfecting the art of the beer bong. Or making the perfect beer pong table. Or building something else that helps just-turned-21'ers consume massive quantities of shitty beer in order to, I dunno, grow up or something. From a list of 33 of the best beer pong tables (best is definitely subjective in this case) comes this absolutely atrocious Nintendo themed table. From the article:
This table is 8 bits of pure joy. Highlights include Little Mac doing a funnel from MegaMan, Link getting in a barfight, Donkey Kong battling Samus Aran and much much more. This is really more art than it is table.
I think college has warped this poor man's logic. This is definitely more table than art. I mean, just look at Soda Popinski. They didn't do any artistic legwork in researching the fact that his original name was Vodka Drunkinski. They portrayed him drinking a bottle of Tide or something. Horrible. At least now we know that Mario is a Guinness man. Explains the swarthy hairiness I guess.
There's also an NES controller table in the article, but I will leave that to you to critique. I'm going to go wash my eyes out with soap.
The latest Photoshop Friday over at the inimitable SomethingAwful comes with a couple steampunk re-imaginings of a DS, Wii, and Wiimote. Temper the overwhelming sadness you'll surely feel when you open that Wii rain check this Christmas with another picture of something you can't have.
posted by Qais on December 21, 2007 11:29 AM in Games
If you've listened to basically any of the podcasts I've been on here at the Weekly Geek you know that I have a love/hate relationship with Nintendo. Sometimes Nintendo gets a little uppity, and yeah I drink a bit so maybe I over react, but Nintendo knows I love them and...oh Nintendo, baby why do you make me hit you? However in this case, I'm pleading the Connery defense.
You see, Nintendo is at it again, having announced in Nintendo Power,
"There are no plans right now for a Kirby game on Wii but there are plenty of Kirby fans out there, so in the meantime look out for Kirby in the upcoming Super Smash Bros. Brawl which will be released in 2008."
Disappointing news considering Kirby has been one of my favorite Nintendo titles since Crystal Shards. Interestingly there is no mention of additional Kirby titles for the DS either in the affirmative or negative. If nothing else, for the Kirby fans at least the disappointment of no titles on the Wii might be slightly abated by the rampant speculation of new Kirby titles on the DS resulting from a lack of direct denial on Nintendo's part.
Nintendo had a lot riding on Super Mario Galaxy. Super Smash Bros Brawl had been pushed back to 2008, and the Wii really didn't seem to have any other strong titles coming out this season (maybe because it doesn't.) Nintendo as a rule puts a ton of effort into their first party properties, and after the critically and commercially unsuccessful Super Mario Sunshine (for the record, a game I greatly enjoy) and myriad watered-down sports titles featuring the mustachioed mascot Super Mario Galaxy had to be a success. Now, if you define success by fantastic game play, inventive and imaginative levels, beautiful music and a refreshing joyful experience, then Super Mario Galaxy is definitely successful.
There are some flaws, sure. The Wii motion controls are as tacked-on as any Wii game; never really adding to the immersion and always feeling like a hindrance. Whoever thought it was a good idea to remove the precision of pressing a button to attack and replacing it with sporadically-working waggle controls should be seriously talked to. I found in a few areas the challenge in Super Mario Galaxy lies in actually getting Mario to do what you want him to do. You'll accidentally get knocked off platforms or jump when you didn't want to so much you'll want to pull your hair out. Luckily, the second player can actually make you do a short hop if they click on you, so there's that added area of frustration if you have friends who are also jerks (I am looking at you, Qais.) The star bits feel a bit like a half-baked idea, an afterthought that was added to allow the second player to feel useful. And that's alright. The second player controls make it so that someone who would otherwise just be sitting and watching can actually do stuff. Any time co-op is added to a game I am a fan.
The voice acting is strange and often ridiculous. Nintendo has always had an aversion to voice acting, but the half-assed voice acting in Super Mario Galaxy makes the game feel slightly dated. Good thing there's very little plot, I guess? It's not a big concern. No one plays Mario games for the storyline.
What Super Mario Galaxy does right is bring back the joyful feeling of playing video games for me. I remember playing Super Mario Bros. 3 for the very first time on Christmas morning the year it came out. I spent the next three days playing through it non-stop. Absorbing the world, the characters, the music. Through the majority of Super Mario Galaxy I was grinning ear-to-ear. Mario in a bee suit? Yes, please. Is he adorable? Only the most adorable Mario ever. The level design feels brand-new, yet it evokes previous Mario games perfectly.
I won't go over the plot with you. I won't give you a run down of how many worlds there are, or how many stars you have to collect in order to defeat Bowser. These are things that are best left to you to discover. Just know that the game is completely worth it, and that discovery is part of the joyful experience the game provides. Compared to Super Mario 64, it's a bit linear in places. There aren't really any big hub-worlds for you to roam around and get stars at your own pace. You can choose which levels you want to visit with the different observatories, and there's a ton of replay value in going through and collecting all the stars, getting a high score for coins or star bits, or just sort of messing about in the fantastic worlds Nintendo has created for you. It's the same Mario you've come to know and love, and the same Mario formula Nintendo is going to feed to you for decades to come. Princess gets kidnapped by Bowser, Mario has to fight Bowser. Bosses take three hits to defeat. Rinse and repeat. Is it fresh and new? Not that aspect, no. But what Super Mario Galaxy does right refreshes the tired formula enough to make it feel comfortable, not uncreative.
Is it a system-seller? The Wii pretty much sells itself, but adding Super Mario Galaxy to the mix makes it a little bit more worthwhile. Unfortunately I see Nintendo repeating history here: a set of absolutely fantastic first party titles released at about 3 to 6 month intervals throughout the life cycle of their current system. As long as said titles are of Super Mario Galaxy caliber, I think I am ok with that.
Score:4/5. An instant classic Wii title, vital to any collection.
posted by Qais on November 16, 2007 8:41 AM in Games
We here at the 'Geek, or rather I, have a tendency to stoke the rumor mill any time something juicy drips before our ravenous, news-hungry maws. As such, it is with great pleasure, and perhaps just a bit of mischievous schadenfreude, that I bring you yet another rumor. According to the investigative team at Kotaku, a site with which I'm sure you're familiar if for nothing other than it's journalistic integrity, a new DS is possibly in the works.
George Harrison, Senior Vice President of Marketing and Corporate Communication at Nintendo, has been quoted thusly:
We don't have any imminent plans for an upgrade for the Nintendo DS. The product is still selling extremely well around the world.
which is a whole lot different from "no new DS ever no, never". Rumors indicate a potentially larger viewing screen, more on board storage, and the removal of the GBA port. Granted, there isn't much in the world that could keep me from spewing bodily fluids of joy over Phantom Hourglassbigger, but if Nintendo takes away my ability to play Japanese imports of GBA games on my DS then my DS will be the last Nintendo system I own. You hear that Nintendo, I'm breaking up with you, consider your friend code hastily erased.
Overview:Mercury Meltdown Revolution is the third in a series of games that started with Archer Maclean’s Mercury on PSP. This incarnation appears on the Wii and takes advantage of the Wiimote’s motion sensitivity to control your little blob of mercury. Along the same spirit of Marble Madness, MMR is an actiony puzzle game where you have to guide an coagulated ball of mercury around various levels filled with various traps, tricks, and mazes. Oh, and did I mention it’s a budget title? Let’s see if it’s worth your 20 bucks.
Shininess: Being on the Wii, it’s not gonna be the super duper bright and shiny that you might find on the 360. But also being a basic puzzle game instead of an experiment on theoretical physics or a nightmare survival in a submerged steampunk dystopia, it doesn’t really need them new-fangled grafficks that all the kids want. Obviously, if it was on the 360, it’d look sharper, but the game doesn’t suffer for not being so. In other words, the graphics are good enough, but nothing to write home about. Though the way the blob of mercury rolls around and pools against walls is pretty nifty.
The game also has a quirky little soundtrack. Again, nothing to blow your mind, but it’s pretty good. At the very least, it’s not repetitive and irritating which can happen sometimes in lesser known puzzle games.
Funness: I was looking forward to trying out this game, since I love Marble Madness so much, but I was not terribly optimistic. I wasn’t sure how much more they could do with rolling something around a maze. As it turns out, there’s actually quite a bit more they can do with it. There are lots of traps and other interactive objects that give it more depth than just another maze game. I couldn’t tell you for sure how many of these have appeared in the previous games in the series, so I’m going to approach them as if they’re new because they’re new to me.
The main mechanism that I find the most interesting is the color changing. You can roll your little blob into paint sprays that will change its color. There are various gates and pressure switches that will only react if your mercury is the correct color. Sometimes, you’ll have to force your blob to hit a corner and split up into two pieces, make one hit a red spray and one hit a blue spray and then bring them back together to make purple. It’s pretty fun.
Because your blob can split up, just falling over the edge and losing isn’t that simple. If you happen to barely catch yourself right before you’re gonna fall, you might lose some of your mercury, but not all of it and still be able to finish the level. Of course, some levels require you to have a certain amount left in order to activate certain switches and you get more points for saving more when you finish.
There are lots of various obstacles to get in your way, things that push you, things that suck you in, things that blow you up into the air, and things that splatter you. There really is quite a wide variety in this game, so I have yet to run into a level that feels like I’m doing the same thing as another. The game is quite challenging without being annoyingly so.
Worthiness: I honestly think this game is a little gem in the Wii’s library that lots of people are probably going to miss. I’m enjoying it quite a bit. On top of having 150+ levels to go through, there is some replay value in each if you go back and try to get a perfect score on each level by collecting all the bonus icons and trying to make it to the exit point with every drop of your mercury. And you get bonus points for doing it within a certain amount of time. The game also has some unlockable mini-games that are more about survival rather than hitting and end goal. They’re kinda fun, but not that big of a deal. If this were a full-priced Wii title, I’d scoff and move on, but it’s not. This game is a budget title and rightfully so. At 20 bucks, I’d say it’s a worthy buy if you’re a fan of puzzle games, and especially if you liked Marble Madness or Super Monkey Ball. If you’re looking for some games to fill out your Wii shelf, this is one of them.
posted by Qais on October 1, 2007 2:53 PM in Games
With Phantom Hourglass shipping today (and arriving into the hands of Link fanatics tomorrow), and Nintendo's current trend of wrapping new games in shiny promo hype in order to make you feel less horrible about dropping the scratch to own a piece of plastic no bigger than a 50 cent piece, it should come as no surprise that Nintendo is at it again.
Coinciding with the release of Phantom Hourglass, Nintendo is offering a quill like stylus for the DS, that is if you register your game on the Nintendo website. There don't appear to be any images circulating on the tubes just yet of the quill, but in the waking City of Lost Children-esque nightmare that is my steampunk fantasy this will be a giant swishy feather attachment made specifically to go alongside my copper and brass DS Lite.
New Jersey is a town often lampooned in the media for being home to filth, petrochemical refinery, and a seemingly endless display of dullards. While this may or may not be true, although I'm inclined to believe it having lived within smelling distance for a time, what New Jersey is unquestionably home to is over reactionary parents, a newspaper of questionable scruples, and, if memory serves, Robot Hell.
While I take no umbrage with the latter, the former are a current source of consternation in the form of seemingly reasonable (yes in spite of living in New Jersey) adults pitching a fit over the new Wii zapper. Apparently for them Nintendo's new peripheral is just the thing to finally turn their otherwise innocent children into roving gangs of monsters, bent on destruction. Thankfully the blame can't wholly be placed on the shoulders of parents with enough time in their day to respond to newspaper polls, we must also look to the media in this case, for it is with them that this conflagration begins. The aforementioned poll from New Jersey newspaper The Star-Ledger (emphasis theirs) reads as follows:
Wii announced over the summer that it's coming out the a gun-like remote, so kids can play shooter games, with, well, a shooter.
What do you think about making a wand in the shape of a weapon so play is more realistic? ...Is it harmful? ...Will you buy one for your kids?
posted by Qais on September 13, 2007 10:54 AM in Games
Overlord of Nintendo, Satoru Iwata, has made a promise...kind of. In an interview with Shigesato Itoi, Iwata boldly states that Nintendo will not "do the easy", going so far as to say that they wouldn't be releasing sequels because doing so stagnates innovation and creativity. Which, while true, is interesting having spilled from the lips of Iwata-san himself, considering the monstrous games producing ship he captains is releasing a new Paper Mario on Friday, has plans to release a Zelda game with the Wii Zapper, and has yet more puzzle games coming to the DS.
Thankfully Iwata stated they wouldn't be releasing a Wii Sports 2 any time soon, which I'm sure has nothing to do with the derision drawn by what I'm sure will be a wildly successful standing sim, Wii Fit.
posted by Qais on August 30, 2007 11:12 AM in Games
Today the intertubes bring news of stock price drops for the champion of the "non-gamer" console Nintendo. Now I am not the most informed person when it comes to the stock exchange, my knowledge is limited to the existence of such a thing and this about where it ends. However it would seem that the perceived value of a stock decreases as more people sell their shares and the faster they sell the more rapidly the value of the stock decreases.
What does this bode for Nintendo? Will Miyamoto end up bumming for change while Bill Gates and Phil Harrison trade high fives over trays of cocaine borne by vat grown clones of Caprica-Six? Unlikely to say the least.
posted by Chris on July 23, 2007 6:49 PM in Podcast
The Geek, Chris and Colette wax nostalgic this week about Nintendo Power and the glory of magazines devoted to in-game maps and brand-whoring. Also discussed is Live Arcade titles for the week and Paper Mario. Roger Ebert returns us to six months ago when the "Are Video Games Art?" question was still relevant, and Jon Lovitz beats up Andy Dick. This was a very random week. Enjoy!
I really don't understand what is wrong with Nintendo these days. Not even their PR reps can disguise the level of poop being shoveled out onto the Wii, and even the DS these days. Check out this year long lineup in a recent press release.
Whether you're a longtime gamer who likes classic franchises or a newcomer
aiming to keep your brain sharp, Nintendo's summer lineup of games has
something for you. Nintendo's offerings are anchored by key Wii(TM) games
like Metroid Prime(R) 3 Corruption and Mario Strikers(TM) Charged.
Nintendo DS(TM) owners can challenge their minds with games like Brain
Age(TM) 2: More Training in Minutes a Day and the new picture-based puzzle
game, Picross DS(TM).
Licensees also are demonstrating a strong commitment to Wii and Nintendo
DS by announcing more than 40 titles in all genres. The unique controls
of Wii and Nintendo DS make the Nintendo platform versions of these games
entirely new experiences. No matter what your taste or experience level,
you'll keep busy this summer!
Wii
July 30 Mario Strikers Charged Nintendo
Aug. 20 Metroid Prime 3 Corruption Nintendo
September Battalion Wars 2 Nintendo
Aug. 14 High School Musical: Sing It! Disney Interactive Studios
Aug. 14 Madden NFL '08 EA
August Tiger Woods PGA Tour '08 EA
August Space Station Tycoon Namco Bandai
August Brunswick Pro Bowling Crave
August Dave Mirra BMX Challenge Crave
August Pinball Hall of Fame: Crave
The Williams Collection
September Brothers in Arms Ubisoft
September Looney Tunes: Acme Arsenal Warner Bros.
September George of the Jungle Crave
Fall Boogie EA
Nintendo DS
July 30 Picross DS Nintendo
Aug. 20 Brain Age 2: More Training Nintendo
in Minutes a Day
Sept. 10 DK Jungle Climber Nintendo
Sept. 24 Chibi-Robo: Park Patrol Nintendo
July SimCity EA
July Namco Museum DS Namco Bandai
July Drake & Josh THQ
July Glory Days 2 Eidos
Aug. 14 Madden NFL '08 EA
Aug. 14 High School Musical: Disney Interactive Studios
Makin' the Cut!
Aug. 14 Heroes of Mana Square-Enix
August I SPY: Fun House Activision
August Jewel Quest Expedition Activision
August Tiger Woods PGA Tour '08 EA
August Worms: Open Warfare 2 THQ
August Luminous Arc Atlus
August Mega Man Star Force: Pegasus Capcom
August Mega Man Star Force: Leo Capcom
August Mega Man Star Force: Dragon Capcom
August Operation: Vietnam Majesco
August Turn It Around Majesco
August The Wild West Majesco
August Fulllmetal Alchemist Destineer
Trading Card Game
September Drawn to Life THQ
September Zoey 101 THQ
September Crayola Treasure Adventures Crave
September Nancy Drew and The Deadly Majesco
Secret of Olde World Park
September Holly Hobbie & Friends Majesco
September Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Capcom
Trials and Tribulations
September Looney Tunes: Duck Amuck Warner Bros.
September Pet Luv Spa & Resort Tycoon Activision
September Animal Genius Activision
September George of the Jungle Crave
September Jam Sessions Ubisoft
September Professor Brainium Destineer
September Indy 500 Legends Destineer
No. Your third party companies are not showing their support for the Wii. What they are doing is shoveling the same shit at you that they always do. Cartoon Network and Disney Channel tv show games? Who buys that crap? The only games on the list that are anticipation-worthy are Metroid, Phoenix Wright, Heroes of Mana, Sim City and MAYBE Chibi Robo. This will NOT keep me busy this summer, Nintendo. You know what WILL keep me busy? The Xbox Live Arcade. You know the one. Where I can meet up with my friends at any time and jump into a game instantly without having to exchange a 16 digit code. The one that rewards me for in game accomplishments. The one that ACTUALLY WORKS.
I know you make a ton of money off of Pokemon and Brain Age in Japan, but we US gamers are feeling a bit unloved with the severe lack of great titles. At the very least don't try to make it seem like we are getting a deal here. We're not.
posted by Chris on April 26, 2007 8:17 AM in Games
Well, it seems the rumors are true. Yesterday Joystiq reported that English-named Pokémon were big in Japan, being traded over the Nintendo WFC for rare or high level Japanese ones. I tested this theory last night by putting up my level 6 Buneary named "Your Mom". This morning what did I wake up to? A shiny new Chimchar. Being that I selected a Turtwig as my starting Pokémon, this is quite the boon. I put up a Magikarp named "Engrish" to see if I can get a Piplup. Cross your fingers (or just try it yourself!)
Apparently this is because the Japanese players cannot input English characters to name their Pokémon, so being a culture literally obsessed with the concept of novelty they snatch them up right quick. If you try this, post in the comments what you traded and what you got back! We'd love to know.
Super Paper Mario is the latest (and hotly anticipated) title in Intelligent Systems' Paper Mario series, this time departing from the quirky RPG formula in favor of a quirky platformer with RPG elements. This isn't to say it's a bad thing, but it's also not a great thing. The Super Mario RPG series (even starting way back when with Square's SNES title) has always been a game for the fans. Filled with in-jokes, fun puzzles, secrets galore and great action, it has a little bit of everything for real Nintendo lovers.
The plot actually departs from the typical Mario setup (though not the typical Paper Mario setup, sadly). [Villain who is not Bowser] kidnaps [something] and has an [insert devious plot here]. [Villain] is bumbling and slightly silly but has a [secret past]. Mario must set out and save [town name] from [villain].
Sure the plot is a bit tired, but does the crazy cool paper art style and clever dialog make up for it? Does the merging of RPG and platformer work well, or is it like the N-Gage, trying to be two things at once, and not doing either very well? Hit the jump for the full review.
You read that right, I'm giving away the worst prize ever. A broken Nintendo WiFi Dongle.
Heh, dongle.
So here's the skinny: We had a Nintendo WiFi Dongle, it broke, we replaced it with a new one, and then I felt like popping the old one open to see what was inside. As it turns out, there were electronics on the inside.
Looking closer at it, I can tell exactly where the problem is. There's a little connector that came loose and isn't connected any more. I'm sure it's completely fixable with a little soldering or something.
But I have neither the resources nor the motivation to fix this myself. So what to do with it? Why, unload it on one of you, of course!
That's right, you can win your very own broken Nintendo WiFi Dongle. Use it with your broken DS or Wii, I guess. Or fix it, I don't care. I just don't want it any more.
In order to win this broken thing, just send me an email and do something to convince me to spend the money on a postage stamp, put this thing in an envelope, and drop it in the mail. Maybe I'll find some other crap lying around my apartment and put it in the envolope too. I'll pick an arbitrary date sometime in the future to end the contest.
posted by Chris on March 19, 2007 6:53 AM in Podcast
Frodo and The Geek are back this week to bring you all things Spartan. We're obsessed with God of War II, and 300 isn't too bad either. In this podcast episode, we talk about how movie critics are out of touch, why we won't own a PLAYSTATION 3 for a while, some crazy RPG about Chopin (the composer!), Katamari and the electric car. Best episode ever? You be the judge! Download it now or subscribe to the podcast. You know you want to.
posted by Chris on March 15, 2007 9:31 AM in Games
Today Nintendo issued what may be the longest, most information-packed press release I've ever seen about one of their most anticipated games this year: Pokémon Pearl and Diamond for the DS. Release date: April 22. Standard two versions. Total Pokémon: 480. GBA import: yes. Voice chat: enabled. That's right, Nintendo is also going to release a DS headset and have voice chat for Pokémon. Excitement!
In the release they basically talk about how the friend codes are a "feature" and how they prevent children from talking to people they don't know. To me, it's just a pain in the ass but I understand Nintendo's needs to calm the mighty waters of the sea of parental mis-information and lack of proper child-rearing. Honestly, I'd like to see a study that compares Xbox Live's gamertag system vs. Nintendo's friend codes just to see which one is more secure for kids.
The coolest feature in the game? The global trade board. You can post Pokémon you want to trade on the board and view other people's up for trade. It's like Craig's List for Pokémon! All of these new features make this seem like the must-have Pokémon game out of all of the series, and the upcoming integration with the Wii version of Pokémon will end up sucking many of my sweet hours of free time. Anyone else as excited as I am?
posted by Chris on February 18, 2007 7:00 PM in Podcast
This week The Geek and Frodo bring you a public service announcement of sorts, discussing the top 100 top selling games of 2006. Frodo rants a bit about Wii Play and how it sucks, Paperboy on Xbox Live Arcade and how it sucks, how Xbox 360 Hard Drives often suck, and how Nintendo's customer service completely does not suck. Also discussed is grandma stink and politics. Sound good to you? Great! Download the podcast, subscribe, and read some show notes.
posted by Chris on January 11, 2007 10:42 AM in Games
Back in the "day", Nintendo had a pretty cool marketing department. Being a Nintendo Power subscriber, I was the proud recipient of a number of VHS videos that basically amounted to propaganda about upcoming products. They were cheesy and cool (hey! A free video!) and offered a surprisingly accurate depiction of Sony and Sega. Check out the promo video for Star Fox 64 (which we actually gave away one year at Video Armageddon, the game tournaments we used to hold).
posted by Chris on January 4, 2007 5:20 PM in Rant
Throughout Nintendo's history as a game hardware and software manufacturer, they have shown an impressive amount of conservatism. Always cautious about their next move, for the most part it has been an effective means of bringing in profits. Or has it? With the release of technology so distruptive as the Wii, the industry is applauding Nintendo for being so daring. So then why is Nintendo still conservative when it comes to anything involving Internet connectivity? The DS had the dreaded friend code system, which has returned on the Wii. The Gamecube had the completely ignored network adaptor, even the SNES had the XBAND which went absolutely nowhere (although, granted it was not released by Nintendo themselves). Why release something if you don't put your energy behind it? What drives Nintendo to be so lackadaisical when it comes to anything online in a world where we have the excellence that is Xbox Live? Welcome to today's rant.
posted by Chris on December 28, 2006 3:47 PM in Games
File this under "holy crap that's awesome I am jealous". Japan has this little thing called Club Nintendo, where members can register games and get points for some really neat free stuff. In the past bonuses have included exclusive games, DS styluses (stylii?), shirts and other kitchy fun Nintendo greatness. Platinum members get some special gifts this year, choosing between custom Mii Wiimote battery covers, or a club-exclusive Tingle DS Game (which looks like a re-skinned version of Balloon Fight).
What do we get in the states for registering our games? Exclusive wallpapers, and back when Wind Waker was released we got a bonus Zelda collection disk. You know what would be nice? Bonus Wii Points for registering games. Even a small number like 100 would be really neat. I still register every Nintendo game I get just in case someday in the future NOA starts giving bonuses. Which they won't.
Make sure you remember where you were the moment you learned that Sexualcabinetry began his weekly column on the Weekly Geek, The Mind Boggleth, because in 30 years, it will come up in conversation much like Kennedy's assassination, only somehow better. This week, he examines that creepy Burger King and his latest foray into video games on the now defunct (and wip3d) X-Box 360. The views expressed in this column don't necessarily reflect those of weeklygeekshow.com or the majority of the human race, for that matter, but it's about time a lone man... in a time of hypocrisy and greed... takes forth a blade... AND FIGHTS FOR WHAT'S RIGHT... COMING THIS SUMMER...
posted by Chris on November 20, 2006 6:42 PM in Podcast
It's the big Wii show! [Insert witty use of the word "Wii" here]. In this episode, The Geek and Frodo discuss the Wii launch, the anxiousness of waiting in line, line camping and their initial impressions. Frodo rants about Zelda and a good time is had by all. Have some notes!
posted by Chris on November 20, 2006 9:48 AM in Rant
Editorial Note: This was written at 5 hours into the game. For more recent impressions, see bottom of page. It's the same damn game you've been playing for years. Boy with pointy ears has to rescue princess with pointy ears from dude who looks like a pig. Zelda is a tried and true formula, and Zelda Twilight Princess was supposed to be the best yet in the series. Indeed, many review sites gave the game perfect or near-perfect scores. I want you all to know that I am basically the biggest Nintendo fanboy there is. I am a Nintendo apologist and I freely admit that. I also want you to know that so far I do not like the Wii and more specifically, I think Zelda Twilight Princess sucks. There, I said it. Phew. Feels goooooood to say it.
Let's get right to my reasoning, shall we?
The Graphics. I am the first person in the room to say that graphics don't matter. As a matter of fact, that was the title of last week's podcast. Somehow Nintendo has convinced me otherwise. The graphics for Twilight Princess aren't even Gamecube quality. At times they are N64 quality, and that's just inexcusable. Maybe I have been playing Final Fantasy 12, Okami and Shadow of the Colossus too much, but Zelda seems to strive to be the perfect combination of those three, and failing miserably. There are jaggies. Hair looks like plastic. The character design is ugly and miserable. In fact, there is a supreme lack of design in the game. Wind Waker was a beautifully crafted masterpiece, everything flowed together and was a joy to just look at. Twilight Princess, in the push to make Zelda more "mature" has lost any style whatsoever for a crappy pseudo-realistic look. Not only that, but there are clipping errors everywhere in the game. Link's sword passed through his clothes and Epona's bridle disappears in the freaking cutscenes. Too often I look at the cutscenes and say to myself: "THAT is what you went with?! THAT was the cutscene you chose?!" Even the intro is so lacking style and interest, it makes me want to weep. Look. The Gamecube is more powerful than the PS2 in graphical power. So why, then, does Final Fantasy 12 look so freaking amazing and Zelda look like it was made 6 years ago? It's intolerable. NEXT.
Use of the Wii Remote. Why, Nintendo? Why are you making me jiggle my controller to swing my sword? Sometimes it doesn't even work. I have died in this game multiple times because I wasn't able to control my character. This just doesn't happen in a Miyamoto game. Miyamoto games are KNOWN for their excellent and tight play control. As a matter of fact, I find it very hard to believe that he even signed off on this game. The Wii controls feel tacked on and lazy. They add nothing to the experience or immersion and just come off as awkward and frustrating. The speaker in the Wii remote is annoying and chintzy, and using the pointer in the game is a gimmick. An annoying gimmick because very damn time you move the pointer across the screen that damn fairy makes chiming noises. EVERY TIME. I turned it off. It was giving me a headache. Look, I just want to play Zelda with a normal controller and know what I am doing at any given time. I don't want to be forced to play like some sort of epileptic every time I want to swing my sword. It is not fun. It is anti-fun.
Lack of Joy. One thing I always loved about Zelda games was the amount of joy I would feel playing them. Every new dungeon, every new discovery was met with a smile and a surge of joy. I haven't felt that in Twilight Princess. All I have felt is frustration and anger so far. There is a distinct lack of anything in the game, let alone secrets. Walk into a house in town, what is in there? Oh, right. Nothing. Not a pot to break, not a rupee to find, not a chest to open. Just walk through the door, wait for it to load the room, walk around the room, realize you CAN'T DO ANYTHING and then walk out. Thanks for wasting my time, Nintendo. And the music! The music is the same crappy midi on steroids we've been forced to listen to for the past 2 generations. WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT ORCHESTRATED MUSIC, NINTENDO?! Please. Stop giving us stupid remixes and rehashes of the same damn Zelda music and compose new, original and beautiful music. I keep comparing the game to Final Fantasy 12, but it works. The game has gorgeous and memorable music. Zelda Twilight Princess's music is lazy and unimaginative. And you delayed the game for years for THIS? I want originality. I want joy. I want the feeling I had with Wind Waker, Ocarina of Time, Link to the Past and even Link's Awakening.
I want a Zelda game. This isn't it. While Nintendo is playing back in the dark ages with their lack of voice acting, good music, and original gameplay, other companies are leaving them in the dust. I'm going to go play Okami now and actually have some fun with my video game playing.
Update: Okay, after about 15 hours in, I am enjoying the game a bit more. I have gotten used to the controls (to an extent) and my initial frustration has pretty much faded away. Actual sword swiping moves instead of jiggling seems to work better, though the Wii controls still feel tacked on. I stand by my original statements about the graphics and art style, though some of the later dungeons look a bit better. So then, why make the beginning of the game so hard to get used to? My suggestion would have been to find a way to get us really really sold on the controls in the very beginning, blow us out of the water with impressive visuals and story and then go from there. Instead it only starts getting good later on in the game. Maybe most people will have the resolve I did and try to plod through the first couple hours in hope of a better experience? Who knows.
I hereby declare that from henceforth, November 16th shall be known to gamers around the world as Shigeru Miyamoto day. Miyamoto changed the world of gaming forever and brought us to where we are now. I just happened to feel like looking him up on the good ol' Wikipedia today and noticed that it is actually his birthday. What an amazing coincidence! Anyway, share with us your love for the Shigmeister today on Shigeru Miyamoto day.
posted by Chris on October 22, 2006 6:39 PM in Podcast
This week on THE WEEKLY GEEK'S VIDEO GAME AND GEEK CULTURE PODCAST!!!!!! Ranting abounds! Frodo rants about stupid people and bad business while The Geek is helpless but to listen! Toy photography is discussed, Wii updates are touched upon, and actual good Sony news is revealed! Shock! Horror!
posted by Chris on August 24, 2006 10:58 AM in Rant
Now, anyone who has read this site, listened to the podcast or has a fully functional cognitive center of their brain knows that I am a huge Nintendo fan. I genuinely believe that Nintendo consistantly produces the best quality first party games, and they are the company I always turn to first when I want to have video game related fun. If it were socially acceptable to wear green tights, I wouldn't be made fun of day in and day out for my fashion sense. Something has been cinching up my tights recently, and I wanted to share it with you in rant form. Nintendo is being retarded.
According to Matt Cassamassina from IGN the other day, there were rumors that Nintendo was going to announce a version of Kid Icarus for the Wii - Link.
The day came and went, and no announcement was made. Now, we all know that Nintendo is making a Kid Icarus game for the Wii. The be-winged Pit is in Smash Brothers Brawl, and Nintendo is always more than happy to continue franchises. People eat up new Mario, Zelda and Metroid games, so why not capitalize on that? They are in the business of making money, after all. I know I am going to be first in line to get the Wii, Twilight Princess and Metroid Prime 3 on release day. So why am I angry? Because of the pandering. I HATE BEING PANDERED TO.
As a child of the 80's, I feel my nostalgia is being exploited a wee bit too heavily these days. Sure, as a kid I loved watching Transformers and Ninja Turtles on TV while wearing my Super Mario 3 Underoos (they had sparkles!), and I am sure I would get a couple warm fuzzies from seeing a live action version of Optimus Prime rolling down the street. But from the Transformers movie being made by Michael "Explosions Give Me Erections" Bay, to the new CG Ninja Turtles that look like a cutscene from a PS1 game, to Hot Topic video game tees with stupid slogans on them to Family Guy disintegrating into a series of obscure 80's references, people have figured out that this kind of thing makes money. Gobs of money. Hats made of money. And we eat it up as if it were Mario shaped candy (which is probably delicious, by the way).
Nintendo is great at making original games, especially recently. Off the top of my head I can cite Pikmin, Nintendogs, and Drill Dozer. There are a couple of excellent new games for the Wii announced, like Project H.A.M.M.E.R., Elebits and the like. But Nintendo keeps bringing back franchises. Is this a bad thing? More often than not, I say yes.
The Metroid Prime series was really successful, so has been the Zelda series. But what about Star Fox? Once Nintendo let other companies grasp their beloved Furry Franchise, it went to crap. Mario Party is another franchise that just needs to die. Look at other companies, like Capcom and the Mega Man series. What the crap happened there?! Capitalizing on nostalgia is an easy way to get people to buy games. Us 80's kids will just look at a remake based on something we remember waking up early Saturday mornings to play and drool, slap down our money, and eventually be disappointed the majority of the time.
Nintendo could do a lot with the Kid Icarus franchise, sure. It could end up being a brilliant, mindblowing game, revitalizing the franchise much like Capcom did with Resident Evil 4. Or, it could also suck as hard as Star Fox Assault (ouch!). The development time being spent to make a crappy franchise game could be spent making a truly inspired new game that doesn't give us the nostalgia warm fuzzies, but gives us satisfaction in a wholly new way, like how new and fresh rolling stuff into a ball felt in Katamari, like how crazy fun shredding on a playskool guitar to Ziggy Stardust is in Guitar Hero. The Wii is inspiring game developers all over the world to think about games in a new way, and Nintendo is banking on old franchises? That just shows a lack of faith in their product to me.
What I am saying is that the Wii has a lot of potential. There is the potential for success, and potential for failure. I don't think that Nintendo should rely so much on rehashes of franchises using the Wii controller. Make something incredible and new, and quit banking on my childhood. That's the easy way out. I'll buy it, but I won't be happy about it.
Part of being a good video game lovin', Nintendo Power readin' child of the 80's was the Howard and Nester comic. This strange game advertisement/Nintendo corporate fanfic has a fond place in all our hearts, mainly because it introduced us to the fact that the president of a large corporation can be cool enough to wear a red bowtie in public. That's why here at the Weekly Geek we think we should congratulate Reggie Fils-Aime on his promotion to President of Nintendo of America by sending him off in style. The man needs his bow tie!
You can find 'em at Goodwill. Maybe your dad has one. Maybe YOU have one. Maybe you just mugged Bill Nye or Pee Wee Herman. Or print out this one. Reggie has been awesome so far to really help Nintendo's image in the gaming world, and to show your support, send him a bowtie. Paper or cloth, it doesn't matter. Include a note about how awesome you think Nintendo is.
You know you want to. Here's where to send it:
Reggie Fils-Aime
c/o Nintendo of America Inc
4820 150th Ave NE
Redmond, WA 98052
--Frodo
(Yes. We are horrible Nintendo fanboys. But also, look at him. The man NEEDS the bowtie.)
Hey everybody! Frodo here. I know you miss us. I knows you do. We are busy preparing for next week's super special E3 preview! Nevery is going to be covering the show, and we have a lot of stuff to talk about! Nintendo is going to be having their huge press conference talking about the Nintendo Wii, and they have one huge announcement left. SquareEnix is showing off a metric butt-ton of titles, and it will be interesting to see how Sony and Microsoft plan to compete at the show. Tune in next week for The Weekly Geek's super huge E3 extravaganzaaaaaaaaa!
posted by Chris on March 22, 2006 12:24 PM in Rant
There are rumors around the Interweb blogosphere today about Nintendo possibly announcing the "real" name for the Revolution this Thursday during Satoru Iwata's GDC speech. It was long said that Revolution was not going to be the final name for Nintendo's next-generation offering, even though it is the name that we have come to commonly refer to it by. Nintendo has a history (like, you know, most companies) of code naming a product and then releasing it under a shinier moniker, the N64 was originally the "Ultra 64", Gamecube was "Dolphin" and Nintendo DS was "Nitro".
Some analysts are predicting that Nintendo may stick with "Revolution", but I have my own prediction. I think that Nintendo is going to call it nothing. I think they are going to just call it "Nintendo". A recent publicity photo of the Revolution unit shows a Nintendo racetrack logo at the base instead of the Rev logo we saw at E3, for one thing, but from the way the big N is marketing it, it seems to me they are using this as the core, be all, end all system.
Remember back in the day, when you would ask for a "Nintendo" for Christmas? Or you would go over to a friend's house after school to play "Nintendo"? Did you ever ask specifically for an "NES", or go and play a "Nintendo Entertainment System"? No, you just called it Nintendo. It was branding, and it stuck for a very long time (at least until PlayStation came along and video games went mainstream). Video games were commonly just referred to as Nintendo, and I believe that using this branding idea would greatly benefit the Revolution.
The Revolution acts as a virtual console, allowing you to download and play a vast library of Nintendo's games, past and most likely future. It is compatable with the Gamecube and focuses entirely on gameplay over graphics. It is not looking to be the audio/visual hub in your living room, it is just looking to attract casual and hardcore gamers alike with Nintendo's vast game offerings. It is the core unit, it represents Nintendo as a company. Calling it something like "Revolution" or "Nintendo 128" or some other crazy name similar to Xbox 360 and PS3 denotes a sequence, it says "this is our next generation console, meant to compete with the others" which it is obviously not. There is no HD support, it will be vastly cheaper than Microsoft or Sony's systems, and Nintendo has directly stated that they just aren't interested in competing. They want to be an also-ran. They want people to pick up the "Revolution" in addition to other systems, they want to attract the casual gamer.
I believe that they can do this by using the system to spearhead a whole new company branding campaign. We will see tomorrow if I am right! I CAN'T WAIT.
What do you think the Revolution will be called? Email me or post your opinion in the comments!
Overview:
Electroplankton is weird. Electroplankton is not a game. Electroplankton is not a music maker. Do not taunt Electroplankton. Electroplankton will never sell well in the US. If Electroplankton is anything, it is a work of art.
Many games can fall into the "video games as art" classification. Resident Evil 4 was beautifully rendered and thoughtfully put together, you could call it art. Katamari Damacy was stylish and innovative; also art. Electroplankton is what we call in the world of pretentious art jerks: "art for art's sake". As opposed to the other "arty" games mentioned, there is no plot, no end goal. You don't beat a giant plankton and the credits roll. Electroplankton is the end result of an artist's vision (in this case, Japanese artist Toshio Iwai) and it is nothing less than trancendental. You can control 10 different types of creatures, each one with its own ability. The "Tracey" follows a trail you draw for it, the "Rec Rec" records your voice. Each creature generates sound and beats and color and light which is hypnotic, fluid, and ultimately very entertaining. But it will never sell in the US.
posted by Chris on November 27, 2005 5:45 PM in Podcast
This week Frodo and The Geek discuss such matters as the Nintendo Revolution interface, the death of the N-Gage, and the fight against video games by gamer girlfriends. Sounds tragic, doesn't it? WELL IT'S NOT. They also talk about their favorite kinds of cheese (this is a lie). Download it here or add http://www.weeklygeekshow.com/weeklygeek.rss to your podcasting software. Cheers!
posted by Chris on November 22, 2005 10:02 PM in Rant
So, the XBOX 360 has been released. Why should you care? I know I certainly don't. Here is a rant about that. Just for you!
As some of you know, I am what some people would call a "Nintendo Fanboy". At least, to an extent I am a fanboy, I do appreciate Nintendo for the games that they have created in the past and the games they continue to create, though I do not blindly fall for any game they release. I am not anti-Xbox, just generally the types of games that are on the system do not appeal to me, and never really have. That being said, there are other reasons that I am completely not excited about the 360 release.
posted by Chris on October 31, 2005 8:45 PM in Podcast
In today's podcast, Frodo and The Geek discuss Shadow of the Colossus, Video Games Live, Frodo's trip to Canada to meet the developers of Super Mario Strikers, and various other game related things! Oh yeah, they talk about World of Warcraft, too. But who doesn't, honestly?
Special thanks to Nintendo!
Download the show here, or add http://www.weeklygeekshow.com/weeklygeek.rss to your favorite podcasting software. (Now
Today the intertubes bring news of stock price drops for the champion of the "non-gamer" console Nintendo. Now I am not the most informed person when it comes to the stock exchange, my knowledge is limited to the existence of such a thing and this about where it ends. However it would seem that the perceived value of a stock decreases as more people sell their shares and the faster they sell the more rapidly the value of the stock decreases.
I really don't understand what is wrong with Nintendo these days. Not even their PR reps can disguise the level of poop being shoveled out onto the Wii, and even the DS these days. Check out this year long lineup in a recent press release. 
Super Paper Mario is the latest (and hotly anticipated) title in Intelligent Systems' Paper Mario series, this time departing from the quirky RPG formula in favor of a quirky platformer with RPG elements. This isn't to say it's a bad thing, but it's also not a great thing. The Super Mario RPG series (even starting way back when with Square's SNES title) has always been a game for the fans. Filled with in-jokes, fun puzzles, secrets galore and great action, it has a little bit of everything for real Nintendo lovers. 
Today Nintendo issued what may be the longest, most information-packed press release I've ever seen about one of their most anticipated games this year: Pokémon Pearl and Diamond for the DS. Release date: April 22. Standard two versions. Total Pokémon: 480. GBA import: yes. Voice chat: enabled. That's right, Nintendo is also going to release a DS headset and have voice chat for Pokémon. Excitement! 
Throughout Nintendo's history as a game hardware and software manufacturer, they have shown an impressive amount of conservatism. Always cautious about their next move, for the most part it has been an effective means of bringing in profits. Or has it? With the release of technology so distruptive as the Wii, the industry is applauding Nintendo for being so daring. So then why is Nintendo still conservative when it comes to anything involving Internet connectivity? The DS had the dreaded friend code system, which has returned on the Wii. The Gamecube had the completely ignored network adaptor, even the SNES had the 
It's the same damn game you've been playing for years. Boy with pointy ears has to rescue princess with pointy ears from dude who looks like a pig. Zelda is a tried and true formula, and Zelda Twilight Princess was supposed to be the best yet in the series. Indeed, many review sites gave the game perfect or near-perfect scores. I want you all to know that I am basically the biggest Nintendo fanboy there is. I am a Nintendo apologist and I freely admit that. I also want you to know that so far I do not like the Wii and more specifically, I think Zelda Twilight Princess sucks. There, I said it. Phew. Feels goooooood to say it. 
I hereby declare that from henceforth, November 16th shall be known to gamers around the world as Shigeru Miyamoto day. Miyamoto changed the world of gaming forever and brought us to where we are now. I just happened to feel like looking him up on the good ol' 
Part of being a good video game lovin', Nintendo Power readin' child of the 80's was the Howard and Nester comic. 
Overview:
