Over the weekend I caught highlights from the Olympic marathon. Conditions were less than ideal, the world record holder even declining to compete due to the damage the metropolis of Beijing might wreak on his asthmatic lungs. At just over the two-hour mark I couldn't help but think back to the event's origins, that tale of a lone Greek running the distance from Marathon to Athens to tell of the victory (We have won!) over the Persians.
Aside from the fact that the guy allegedly dropped dead following this exclamation there's an additional detail that lends bearing to the differences of our modern times.
The dude was probably naked.
He would have cast off his armor and clothing for speed, the advantages of which are logical. In fact, the first Olympians competed au naturale, the only addition being a slop of oil for the wrestlers to uh, enhance the experience.
For better or worse times have changed. Not only are our countries' most talented clothed, in some events more than others, their attire is now the product of engineers and scientists as much as fashion designers. While a beach volleyball bikini may not ever see the inside of a wind tunnel (a shame, really) you can bet that Michael Phelps' new Speedo did.
I am all for maximizing the entirety of one's self for increased performance. Were I a swimmer in high school I'd have joined the press of sleek, hairless bodies with the rest of the swim team. I would gladly have gone with short shorts for cross-country, or squeezed in to a mystifyingly masculine singlet as a wrestler. But even the priciest piece of spandex off the rack couldn't compare to the intensive research and development that go in to girding the taut loins of our Olympians.
As toolmakers we human folk are constantly reinventing, those Converse All-Stars might have done the job for the guys in the 70s but modern competitions demand more. Natural talent and training are not the only building blocks for success and those with the resources turn to science for an edge.
So where do we draw the line? While chemical injections immediately raise red flags, altitude training and slick engineering remain the norm. Several extreme runners (these folks laugh at your petty marathons) regularly file their toenails down or have them removed to increase performance so what's to keep them from having their appendix out to reduce their weight? Or something else?
The topic of this article comes from a recent Nike sponsored TV spot for the Olympics, embedded below. Hi-res is here.
The ending image is of course runner Oscar Pistorius, of whom I am a huge fan. Every time I see him in action I can't help but stare in wonder, goose bumps forming as he transcends all existing definitions of the word "athlete." A man without legs churning up the race track fueled by sheer power of will and the marvels of modern science, an inspiration to any person facing physical limitations of their own. However, he is clearly using something that is not "already inside."
I won't delve in to the controversy of his intended competition in the summer games (which was granted but he failed to qualify for, you can read about it here) but he certainly calls in to question existing definitions of who is eligible to compete. Would the verdict have been the same if the body modification was intentional?
2008 marked the high point of the graph in engineered attire and that curve is going nowhere but up. Competitive parameters will get stricter, boundaries more encompassing, and each and every breakthrough will have to be met and evaluated in order to determine fairness. The idea of body modifications obtainable by means other than training may not be too far off. The winter games might unveil some new tech that enhances performance and calls in to question the limits of what is allowed in competition.
Technology continuously redefines and restructures even the basest of human activity, its advancement equally pushing and pulling the standards by which we work, play, and compete. Perhaps its continued implementation will reach a ceiling that purists will refuse to break, a point at which the effects of research and development supersede talent and training.
At that point it will be what's on the inside that counts. And we can expect, dare I say anticipate, a whole lot of naked.
posted by SecksCab on August 8, 2008 6:16 AM in Rant
If you're reading this on Friday, August 8, 2008, then you will be happy to know that you are not dead due to a man-made black hole sucking you, and the rest of the solar system and surrounding environs, into oblivion. Yesterday, or tomorrow, as I'm writing this, the CERN Large Hadron Particle Collider was turned on for the first time.
First off, this thing is ENORMOUS. It's a 17 mile tube, with the price tag of 6.4 BILLION EUROS. Since Euros are super expensive incomprehensible moon moneys, that's like a billion trillion zillion dollars. Hadron collider? More like HARD-ON collider.
Of course, the likelihood of a black hole forming is extraordinarily remote. Vegas chances are that we'll survive and nothing will have happened. Worst case scenario, Switzerland is evaporated. But will we miss Switzerland?
Let us explore this idea a little further.
- I have never met anyone from Switzerland, or anyone who has personally encountered anybody from Switzerland. I have met somebody who has met Rick Steves, who has been to Switzerland, but Rick Steves is a ginger with eyes that are a bit too close together. I think he's one of the Lizard People, or possibly a Weasley. Maybe both.
- History books are full of countries that do shit. France had Napoleon, Italy had Mussolini, heck, even Belgium has Tintin and Belgium is a completely arbitrary made up nation that exists solely out of certain treaties that were signed after a "war" consisting of twenty people armed with pointy sticks. The fact is that war makes history, not particle colliders, nor, for that matter, the Calvinists. The only thing Switzerland has ever contributed to mankind was Calvinism, and we can all see how that turned out.
- When was the last time you said to your loved one, "Loved one, let's order out for Swiss?" Exactly.
QUOD ERAT DEMONSTRANDUM: Switzerland does not exist, except on the Platonic conceptual level, in the same way that love and justice and freedom and George Lucas exist, i.e. they are simply words we made up to describe things that are ephemeral at best, laughably void from our lives at worst.
If you're reading this, and if we survive our impending doom, then Switzerland suddenly has something that proves it exists after all. This is a harrowing thought. What other things may exist that we never had proof of before?
I have considered this possibility, and it occurs to me that the last horizon is not space travel, nanotechnology or particle physics. The last horizon is the Christian Science Reading Room, four words that do not, in any way, describe what is inside those innocuous doors. There is no Christianity, no Science, little to read and more than one room. Furthermore, nobody ever goes in, nobody ever comes out. It's the religious equivalent of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.
There could literally be anything behind those doors. ANYTHING.
There could be a Victorian style opium den of vice in there. There could be a child porn ring that puts Jeffrey Jones' basement to shame. There could be Jimmy Hoffa, Amelia Earheart, Resurrection Mary and Don Knotts back there.
We just don't know.
So, if you're reading this, congratulations on not being vaporized. There's an end to a Lifetime Exclusive Movie of the Week for you.
posted by Chris on March 10, 2008 6:40 PM in Podcast
This week Chris, Qais and Mack exchange audibly awkward glances this week while discussing how dreamy Shia Lebouf is, Spore on the iPhone and the release of new apps on that crazy little device, how dreamy Iron Man is, how crappy Sci Fi channel is now and how guilty we feel for leaving our Animal Crossing towns to ruin. A new contest is also announced, so be sure to listen to the podcast to find out how you can win something! Something neat, maybe!
There is a point in most geek's lives where they simply stop fighting the inevitable and revel in their geekery. Some do this by going to Stark Trek conventions with regular Starfleet uniform AND dress uniform packed to ensure they're dressed for all occasions, others wear wolf-shirts, and some get complex mathematical formulas tattooed on themselves that make sense to no one but other math enthusiasts (and to those people the tattoo is invariably hilarious). The point is simply that as we revel in being deemed social outcasts we adopt ways to show the world how proud we are of this fact.
So why not do it with some bling?
Itsno.name has created three rings, one for each precious metal, that bear the periodic table entry for the metal they're made out of. Yes they might be a smidge on the tacky side, but if you're wearing a wolf-shirt, have an entire set of Starfleet uniforms, or your t-shirt's consist exclusively of the shirts you've gotten at cons or as prizes then a periodic ring isn't going to put you over the top. You know you look awesome, and that's really all that matters.
If there's one fluid we love the most here at The Weekly Geek, it's ferrofluid. The magnetic fluid is alien and almost magical in nature, and it can be sculpted by magnets. There's a ton of rad videos on this viscous liquid on YouTube, and the cool guys over at Boing Boing have directed us to this little gem. Enjoy. SCIENCE!
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Over the weekend I caught highlights from the Olympic marathon. Conditions were less than ideal, the world record holder even declining to compete due to the damage the metropolis of Beijing might wreak on his asthmatic lungs. At just over the two-hour mark I couldn't help but think back to the event's origins, that tale of a lone Greek running the distance from Marathon to Athens to tell of the victory (We have won!) over the Persians.
